Their Memoriam: A Reverse Harem Romance (Utopia Inc Book 1) Read online

  “And you?” Damn, had I just asked that? Swallowing, I went with it. “Do you like me?”

  “I liked you long before we got trapped in this place.” Straight. Simple. Honest.

  “Dirk,” I squeezed his hand, and shoved my plate aside. “You and I need to talk.”

  It was time. We needed answers.

  “We do,” he agreed. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  Did we do this now, in front of everyone? No, I decided, not asking them. This was about Dirk and me. First, we would talk, then we could decide how much, if any, the others needed to know.

  “Now.” Because if we didn’t, then I’d talk myself out of it again. I wasn’t the risk taker in this group, but here I went rushing across the tightrope. “Can we go somewhere private?”

  “Are you finished eating?” He didn’t pull away or release my gaze.

  “For now.” The only thing I was hungry for was answers.

  “Hatch, box up her leftovers so we can reheat them later. Andreas, you’re on the water condensers. Check their readouts, make sure nothing is in the red. If it is, call Hatch. Oz, restock any supplies we need.” The orders rolled off his tongue with ease. He squeezed my hand, then released me before circling the bar to come to my side. “Valda, you’re with me.”

  With that, he picked up my coffee cup then his own and gestured to the door with a nod of his head. “Shall we?”

  “Absolutely. Thank you, gentlemen. I’ll see you all later?”

  “Count on it,” Hatch said, his grin undiminished even as he set the dishes into the sink and began to wash them. Outside the common room, Dirk took lead, and we rode the lift back to the residential floor. I thought at first we were heading to my suite, but he turned into his.

  Nerves fluttered in my stomach again, but I refused to let them deter me. It was long past the point where I should have taken action, and frankly, today, I felt more like me than I had since I’d woken.

  And about damn time, too.

  The hiss of the door closing behind me put a period on denial. I was self-aware enough to realize that was exactly what I’d done the last couple of weeks. I’d buried myself in the familiar—my work—in order to avoid the discomfort of the strangers locked into this situation with me.

  No more.

  The spartan state of his suite was either a testament to his discipline as a soldier or proof to how busy he’d been doing the work I should have been doing. Aware of his presence directly behind me, I pivoted and accepted the coffee mug he’d carried for me. His quiet eyes studied me, patient and waiting.

  Fair enough. He would let me take the lead. Bracing myself to rip the adhesive off, I took a long swallow of the coffee then slid off my shoes before curling my legs beneath me on the sofa. The seated position wasn’t always considered one of power, particularly not when one took into account Dirk’s height and broad shoulders. The man was huge.

  Done with the delays, I cradled the mug in my lap and said, “You knew me before all of this, didn’t you?”

  The corner of his mouth quirked, and his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. The minute changes suggested a hint of surprise. Good, I was tired of being predictable. “I did,” he admitted before dropping onto the curve in the sofa. The position put him both near me and yet far enough that I didn’t have to twist to continue to meet his gaze.

  “I ordered you to keep this a secret from me?” When I’d asked him a similar question before, he’d admitted I was the one. Then, I’d run from any possible revelation. The time for fleeing was over.

  “Yes.” Well, isn’t he a fount of information?

  “Do you answer with more than one or two syllables?” Irritation flashed through me, and I took another sip of the coffee. Seriously, if I was willing to take the leap, couldn’t he meet me halfway?

  The half-smile stretched his mouth wider and a glitter of humor warmed his green eyes. The contrast to his deeper skin tone and dark hair almost made them glow. Or maybe it was simply the fact they were the most colorful thing in the stark white suite. I really needed to do for him what Hatch had done for me. “Valda,” he seemed to encapsulate my very being with the way he framed my name. The cascade of sensation along my spine sent the hairs rising on my arms. It took everything I had to not shudder. “Just ask me the question.”

  “Ask you or tell you to answer me?” It was a gamble, but his reactions all seemed to point in one direction. Then again, experiments had been known to fail if I didn’t identify the correct catalyzing agent.

  He tipped his mug back and drained his coffee before setting it aside and sliding off the sofa to crouch before me. The nearness intensified my awareness of him. The clean, raw scent of him tickled my nose and sent another skitter of electricity over my skin. It was like holding my hand to one of those plasma spheres, where the mini lightning followed my palm.

  “You’re a brilliant woman, Valda. You’ll figure it out.” Though his accent softened a fraction, his gaze bored into mine. What I wouldn’t give to see what he did, to be within his mind and understand.

  “Tell me who you are to me and what order I gave you.” The command rolled off my tongue with far more ease than I would ever have expected.

  “I’m your bodyguard,” he explained without hesitation. “After you began your research for the U.S., threats were made, and the government of New Zealand engaged me to look after you. You have friends in many high places, and as you are aware, some react badly to the name Bashan. We never identified the source of the leaks regarding your research, but I had a single goal—to keep you safe and alive.”

  The admission made my stomach churn. I’d always faced a certain level of danger, but never so much that I believed my physical safety to be in true harm. I couldn’t think that way. If I had, it might have curtailed my work. And the work always comes first… “So, we’ve known each other for five years?” That was how much time I’d lost.

  “A little over three,” Dirk corrected, then he set his left hand against my leg. The warmth radiating from his palm was unmistakable even through the fabric of my pants. It took a moment to sink in, but I wasn’t cold at all. He must have turned up the temperature in his room. “You were deep into your research when I arrived, and you wouldn’t even let me in your house or your lab. You couldn’t afford the interruptions.”

  I didn’t even have to ask if I’d said that. I could hear myself in the words he parroted. “Sorry,” I muttered, but I put aside my mug and covered his hand with mine. “If I made you sleep on the covered porch, I’m even sorrier.”

  The quirk of his lips deepened, transforming into a sexy smile.

  “It was summer. I survived.”

  Oh, hell. “Then I am truly sorry, I can be a self-absorbed ass.” Embarrassment swept through me like the wind in a hot summer storm. “Sometimes, when I’m working…”

  “You forget the rest of the world exists,” he finished for me with a squeeze on my thigh, the act both alien and familiar in the same breath. “I know. I forgave you a long time ago. It is also why I kept the others at bay once we woke here…” He lifted his hand to my throat, his fingers gentle as he traced the line of skin where he’d nearly throttled me upon awakening. “Please allow me to say how sorry I am that I hurt you when I first emerged.”

  “Already forgiven. The pods leave us so disoriented, it takes hours to adjust after using them.” His caress elicited a far more erotic reaction, and my nipples tightened as he leaned in, his weight pressing against my legs. The thud of my heart echoed within my ears.

  “I swear to you, I would never knowingly harm you.”

  “I believe you,” I whispered, my voice seemed to hoarsen of its own accord. “Were we lovers, Dirk?”

  “I wish.” He tilted his head, watching me with those too-knowing eyes, even as he continued the light petting. It relaxed and intrigued me in equal measures. What would he do if I returned the favor?

  Cupping his cheek with my free hand, I marveled at the softness of his beard. For
some reason, I expected it to be a little wiry, yet it tickled my palm. When I traced the edge along his cheek with my thumb, he rubbed his chin against my hand and I giggled. The sensations assaulted my system with need.

  “I confess to being a little disappointed, though not entirely.” At his raised eyebrows, I continued, “Because I don’t remember the last few years. I’d hate to have forgotten you.”

  “Understood.” He slid his hand into my hair, then settled at my nape. Those powerful fingers kneaded the tense muscles, and I couldn’t help my sigh as I closed my eyes. “Every man on this assignment desires you.”

  “I have no idea why.” It wasn’t disingenuous. I existed within my work. I could be distant and abrasive. They barely knew me, but the feeling of Hatch’s lips against mine had left its mark on my soul. His humor and playfulness pulled me from my distractions and made me laugh. Oz’s mind and dedication? Sexy as hell. He intrigued me on both physical and mental level. Andreas confused me, yet there was a connection there, one I couldn’t deny.

  From beneath my lashes, I studied Dirk. His smile gentled as he continued the fabulous massage, releasing the stone of tension and melting my muscles. “You’re far more intriguing than you realize. Your single-minded focus, your dedication, even your distraction—what man wouldn’t want to be the one who pressed past those boundaries and engaged you?”

  “I have no idea…and by the way, if you’re trying to seduce me, it’s working.” The presumption wasn’t that much of a leap. He was completely within my space, and every part of my body was aware of him. Some more distant, clinical part of my mind suggested putting the brakes on this action. I didn’t have enough data to jump to a conclusion, particularly without thorough study.

  His soft chuckle stroked over me. The lure of his amusement pulled me in, and I couldn’t help joining him. Then he brushed his nose to mine, a whisper of his beard against my cheek as he closed the distance. I shifted on the sofa, uncurling my legs, and then he nestled between them, his chest pressed close to me. God help me, I closed my eyes. I would have thought with his size and breadth, he’d dwarf me. Instead, it was as though he blanketed every part of me, and I wanted to nestle within the promise of security and masculine heat.

  When his lips touched my ear, a zing of pure lust bounded through my system and set every nerve on fire. How had I known this man for three years and never taken him to bed? In this crazy place, I’d known him two weeks and barely talked to him, and all I wanted to do was strip naked and explore this wild reaction.

  Oh yeah, I don’t like people much. The awkward thought silenced under a tenser one. Dirk isn’t just people, he’s…

  “Shh,” the whisper of his voice at my ear sent another decadent shiver through me. “I know that mind of yours. You’re turning this inside out, looking for answers, clues, and possibilities.”

  “Actually,” I confessed, heat scalding my face. “I was thinking about how much of an idiot I must be to have known you all that time and we were never lovers.” Gliding my hands onto his shoulders, I admired the firm musculature I could feel. Would he take off the tank top if I asked?

  A scrape of teeth against my earlobe had me closing my eyes. The man hadn’t even touched me yet, not really, and liquid heat filled my belly.

  “Valda,” he whispered my name, and it detonated against my senses like my own personal bomb. “I was your bodyguard. I couldn’t have been your lover, not then.” Then he sucked against my ear and I forgot how to think. With gentle kisses, he traced a path to my throat. The lightest scrape of his teeth and my nipples tightened to the point of pain. All I wanted was more.

  “Then I was a fool.” I exhaled when he raised his head. The loss of his lips against my flesh allowed me to surface for air. His gaze locked on mine. “I don’t want to be a fool anymore.”

  “You were never that,” he said with a smile, even as he brushed the hair away from my face. “But before we go a step further, there are three facts you have to know.”

  I didn’t want facts. I wanted him. I didn’t want to investigate; I wanted to immerse myself in him.

  “Do we have to talk about it? Can’t we just…you know, give in to our feelings?” It was a poor joke and sounded lame even as I said it. Dirk’s laughter, though, came from his belly and didn’t seem politely false at all. In one smooth move, he slid his hands beneath me to cup my ass and then he lifted me. One moment I was sitting on the sofa, the next I was in his lap, sprawled against his chest.

  No complaint here. Though I did reach out to free the leather thong around his hair. He merely raised an eyebrow as I sat up and gave into the temptation to sink my fingers into the wild mane. Emboldened, I met his gaze and smiled. “So, talk. I’ve just been wanting to do this and, since I’m going off script here, I want to play.”

  Another chuckle rumbled through his chest. The contact of my thighs against his sent the feeling right to my sex, and I had to wonder what it would feel like if he laughed while his cock was buried inside of me. Anticipation curled through me. He pressed a finger to my lips and my bubble burst.

  “Focus, Dr. Bashan.”

  Doctor Bashan? What happened to Valda? Scowling, I tugged my hand from his hair. He laughed again, and I glared. “Very well, Captain Rossi. You have my attention.”

  “So fierce when you’re annoyed.”

  He would find out how fierce, if he kept teasing me. He still had one hand gripping my ass, then he stroked his finger around my lips before trailing it along the column of my throat. When he reached the first button of my blouse, my breath clogged in my throat. Heat suffused every part of me, then he flicked the button open.

  “You said you wanted to tell me three things?” Or was that just another form of sensual torture. He flicked open a second button. The lace bra I’d chosen for the day would be visible, as would the upper curves of my breasts. He didn’t respond until the third button opened. Then he glided his finger along the valley between my breasts.

  All at once, my sex clenched, and I locked my thighs against his. The press of my hips forward brought me into contact with a very stiff erection.

  Oh, thank God, he wasn’t unaffected by me. I bit my lip and fought against the urge to grind against his thick length. Impulsive wasn’t in my nature, but I think I’d discovered the trait today.

  “The first thing you need to know is that I’m yours,” he said, the huskiness in his voice deepening his accent. Captivated, I studied him. The intensity in his eyes promised truth. “I might have been assigned to protect you at your lab, but I chose to be here, to follow you. I will do everything in my power to protect you, and I gave you my word then to follow your orders. Anything you want…anything you desire, and I’ll give it to you.”

  The balance of power tipped. “I will never ask you to give me something you don’t want.” The words escaped me in haste. “If sex…” I blew out a breath. Despite all my studies and degrees, this kind of intimacy remained unfamiliar. “If sex is not something you want, then my order is you tell me no. Your body is yours.”

  “No,” he denied me. “My body is yours for the taking. Never mistake that I want you. I’ve been in love with you for years.”

  My heart squeezed painfully.

  “You’re not ready for that kind of commitment…yet. You’re not ready for the depth of the feelings I have, so I will keep them contained. Don’t mistake my obedience for submission in the bedroom. Out there, you’re in charge.” He ran his finger along the edge of the bra. “In here…in my bed, I am. That is the second thing you must know about me. I make the rules, I decide on the pleasure—and I promise you pleasure.”

  The shudder working its way through me had me arching, then he gave me what I wanted. His finger dipped under the fabric and grazed the tip of one tense nipple. Feeling expanded through me, winding the tension in my soul taut. I ached for him.

  “So, you’re mine, but you’re in charge if we have sex. Got it…and number three?” My breath coming in short gasps had me pa
nting out the words. When he found the clip holding my bra together, I wanted to plead, yet I kept the desire to myself.

  If he was in charge, then I had to let him make the decisions. Surrendering that control cost me, but not so much that I didn’t enjoy the erotic nature of it. Sometimes letting go was the best thing.

  Dirk didn’t answer me immediately. Instead, he flicked open the rest of the buttons and nudged the shirt away. I dropped my arms and let the silk fall off. Bare from the waist up, except for the bra, I stretched my arms above my head. Just because he was in charge, it didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy a little tease.

  The upturn of his mouth told me I’d made the right call. He released my bra, freeing my breasts to the warm air of his suite. God, I adored that he’d raised the temperature. The goosebumps on my skin, the tautness of my nipples—they were all due to him.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered, then he palmed one of my breasts, and I closed my eyes. When I would have dropped my arms to grip his shoulders, he tsked. “Keep them up there. I love how you stretch, how flexible you are…I’ve watched you do your yoga, your grace, and your peacefulness. It’s the most erotic fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

  Another shudder stole through me, then he teased the nipple with his thumb and forefinger. The motion had me rolling my hips forward. I stroked myself against his erection. The liquid heat of my sex went molten. I wanted to ask him again about number three, but he locked his lips over my neglected nipple and thought drifted away on a haze of lazy pleasure.